Spoof Text

 A HANDSOME MAN AND AN UGLY MAN

If a handsome man does a bad thing
Girls will say: nobody's perfect
If an ugly man does a bad thing
Girls will say: normal, he has a criminal face"

If a handsome man helps a woman from a bad guy
Girls will say: very brave..like in movies
If an ugly man helps a woman from a bad guy
Girls will say: he must be friends of the bad guy

If a handsome man is very quiet
Girls will say: wow...he is so cool
If an ugly man is very quiet
Girls will say:  do you have any friends?

If a handsome man is still single
Girls will say: he must perfectionist
If an ugly man is still single
Girls will say: no girls absolutely like him

If a handsome man's girl friend is beautiful

Girls will say: they are so matching
If an ugly man's girl friend is beautiful
Girls will say: he must use magic

If a handsome man is broken heart
Girls will say: don't be say, I am ready to be yours
If an ugly man is broken heart
Girls will say: how pity you are!
If a handsome man claims to be half indonesia and half western (indo)
Girls will say : yes, he looks like indo
If an ugly man claims to be indo
Girls will say: his mother is Javanese and his father is robot

If a handsome man is an animal lover
Girls will say: his heart is full of  love
If an ugly man is an animal lover
Girls will say: fello family should love each other (sesama keluarga harus saling menyayangi)

If a handsome man is driving a BMW
Girls will say: perfect and cool
If an ugly man is driving a BMW
Girls will say: he must be the driver

If  a handsome man is riding a big motorcycle
Girls will say: wow..looks like Lorenzo Lamas in the movie Renegate
If an ugly man is riding a big motorcycle
Girls will say: watch out!!! there is Mandragate

If a handsome man pours water to girl's glass
Girls will say: that's a gentleman
If an ugly man pours water to girl's glass
Girls will say: that's servant instinct...

If a handsome man is sorrowful
Girls will say: Let me be your shoulder to cry on
If an ugly man is sorrowful
Girls will say: vey mawkish (cengeng amat)!!!..are you a man or woman?

If a handsome man reads this anecdote
he will smile and say "life is beautiful"
If an ugly man reads this anecdote
He will be frustarted, take a knife and scream loudly "LIFE IS CO CRUEL"

IT’S TIME TO GO TO SCHOOL

Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son. "Wake up, son. It's time to go to school!"
"But why, Mom? I don't want to go."
"Give me two reasons why you don't want to go."
"Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me, too!"
"Oh, that's no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready."
"Give me two reasons why I should go to school."
"Well, for one, you're 52 years old. And for another, you're the Principal!"

LOVING MONEY TOO MUCH

There was a man who liked money very much. He worked all of his life and wanted to save all of his money for his own future. He was a real miser when it came to his money. He loved money more than just about anything.
Even, just before he died, he said to his wife; "Now listen, when I die, I want you to take all my money and place it in the casket with me. I wanna take my money to the afterlife." So he asked his wife to promise him with all her heart that when he died, she would put all the money in the casket with him.
Well, one day, he really died. Then he was stretched out in the casket. The wife was sitting there in black clothes next to her closest friend. When they finished the ceremony, just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said "Wait just a minute!"
She had a box in her hands. She came over with the box and placed it in the casket. After that the undertakers locked the casket down and rolled it away. Not long after that, her friend said, "I hope you were not crazy enough to put all that money in the casket."
The wife turned to her friend and replied; "Yes, because I have promised." Then she continued; "I can't lie. I promised him that I was going to put that money in that casket with him." Feeling shocked, her friend said; "You mean that you have put every cent of his money in the casket with him?" Then the wife answered; "Surely I did. I got it all together, put all the money into my account and I just wrote him a check."

IT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

Last week I went to the theatre. I had a very good seat. The play was very interesting.I did not enjoy it. A young man and a young woman were sitting behind me. They were talking very loudly.I got very angry. I could not hear the actors. I turned around. I looked at the man and the young woman angrily. They did not pay any attention.In the end, I could not bear it. I turned around again. “I could not hear a word” I said angrily.“It’s none of your business” the young man said rudely. “This is a private conversation”.